love without insurance

A fear-based religion sings this song:

"What if God is not happy with our praise
What if He is not pleased with the words we say
What if He takes away His love and His goodness from above
What if God is not happy with our praise."

I remember singing this in a choir ensemble and my mother objecting to the words. Her objections only make more sense the older I get. If this is the God we are serving, it isn't the one portrayed through the Bible, through Jesus. The basis for a God of love is not anything being earned by right actions, right words, (those come later, in response to that love.)

^{Luke 6:35} "But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. ³⁶ Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful."

  Love by nature is an overflowing, creating, giving thing. This love sought us out before we could love back, and without condition of "ONE DAY" having to give back, without insurance, loved us.

A love-based relationship sings something like this song:

"I know God loves me.
In the face of my failure, I rest in knowing 
that His love never fails...
And this makes me want to love Him in return."

It is becoming clearer to me every day why the bible advocates constant godly dialog between kids and parents. There are so many teaching moments, for me AND them, that need to be shared. I do not easily do dialog, so this is something I am trying to improve. It's hard to not view talking as a chore, but as a necessary form of teaching for life. As a teacher I could separate my life into "teaching" and "home stuff," but with children it is ALL teaching. I get overwhelmed so easily, especially when I feel like I have to multitask. For me, it comes down to this: Mothering is all about pacing yourself and doing one thing well at a time- not getting wrapped up in things more than the family and God you serve.

I continue learning about fear. I feel this is the lesson I have been learning the longest, but which I've only recently been able to apply to life. Leaving the middle east for vacation I realized some things that should be very simple, but that I wasn't realizing:
-You can not run from fear because you carry it inside of you. It isn't dependent upon external factors, but internal ones.
-This makes it simple: Fear doesn't come from God, and if I have it as His child, it is a choice I am making.
-If it is a choice, the fear of the future is inhibiting the enjoyment of the present because I am letting it.
Which made it much clearer to make a different choice. Clearer, but not always easier. Worrying about something isn't going to do anything but make life miserable and inhibit clear thought if something bad does happen. Instead, I could acknowledge that God has a reason for everything, even bad things, and not worry about it but accept that He will help if something does happen.

But the last two points are then tied together in this question I have been trying to figure out: How do you raise children to be motivated by love instead of fear? I know there is healthy fear in order to survive and the "fear of God" but those are not what I'm talking about. One can choose to be motivated by love instead of fear, but that doesn't change reflexes. If a child is trained up in fear, how does he depart from that? If fear is the result of not being made perfect in love, how is that process begun, and more importantly, passed on?

I live with a strong suspicion
that everything I do is wrong
but that I can do it wrong
better than anyone else.

I live with the strong suspicion
that I can't interact well with others
because I'm missing some integral link,
but my words can somehow make a difference.

I live with the strong suspicion that
Suspicions are based on
Fear, Lies and Selfishness;
and it's not really about me.

When I choose to replace suspicion with faith
I have instead, assurance:
He will use all things for
my good: His glory.