1 Timothy 2:1; Communicating with God

"I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;" 1 Timothy 2:1

I found it interesting that Paul saw the need to clarify that we need to be doing ALL of these types of communicating with God—he didn’t just say “pray”…I looked the words up in a Bible that marks key words with definitions in the back from the original Greek or Hebrew and then tried to find examples of these different forms of communication in the Bible.
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(Supplications KJV) Entreaties

 Merriam Webster: a serious request for something

When I look up "supplications" in the KJV versions, all of the verses that appear with this word have the ring of desperation in them. Job, David, Daniel and  repentant, sorry Israel all offer supplications to God, seriously asking for help.
Psalm 28:2
Hear the voice of my supplications, when I cry unto thee, when I lift up my hands toward thy holy oracle. 
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Prayers

 Merriam Webster: words spoken to God especially in order to give thanks or to ask for something

The immediate example that comes to mind is how Jesus taught us to pray in Matthew 6:
^"9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.¹⁰ Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread. ¹² And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.¹³ And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen."
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(Intercessions KJV) Petitions 1783

 Merriam Webster: formal : a prayer or request to God or to a very powerful person or group

In the KJV it is the word intercession, and that word always has someone pleading the case of another person or group of people before the powerful one:

1. Jeremiah 27:18
   But if they be prophets, and if the word of the LORD be with them, let them now make intercession to the LORD of hosts, that the vessels which are left in the house of the LORD, and in the house of the king of Judah, and at Jerusalem, go not to Babylon.
   
2. Jeremiah 36:25
   Nevertheless Elnathan and Delaiah and Gemariah had made intercession to the king that he would not burn the roll: but he would not hear them.

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Thanksgiving
Merriam Webster: a prayer that expresses thanks to God

I think a LOT of the Psalms fits into this category!
Psalm 26:7
That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works.
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So I see these as meaning we should ask God for what we need (supplication,) acknowledge Him, His will, and greater plan in daily communication (prayer,) go to spiritual warfare on behalf of those who are lost or fighting around us (intercession,) and express our gratitude and appreciation to God in everything (thanksgiving!)

1 Timothy 1; The Goal of the Law

1 Timothy 1:5-10
"4Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do. 5 Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: 6 From which some having swerved have turned aside unto vain jangling; 7 Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor whereof they affirm. 8 But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; 9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, 10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;"

"How does one lawfully use the law?" is the question that naturally arises from this information. From this selection, there are several things I think we can gather, the first thing I see is this:

1. The end goal of our use of the law should be charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned. Here, I see a uniting of the Old and New Testaments again, where the physical of the Old is working towards thoughts, intents and motivations in the New. I wonder, though, why did Paul stretch this out into three different qualities instead of just one? I think the Bible defines these three that he mentions: heart, conscience and faith (I'm underlining the part of the verse I think is defining) and that by digging deeper I can understand this verse better:
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Pure heart: 
Psalm 24:4 He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
Merriam Webster:
Pure: free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes (2) : containing nothing that does not properly belong.
Heart: "the central or innermost part"
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Good conscience:
Hebrews 13:18 Pray for us: for we trust we have a good conscience, in all things willing to live honestly.
Merriam Webster:
Conscience: "the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good"
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Sincere faith: (faith unfeigned) This seems to always be combined with "pure heart." Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Merriam Webster
sincere: "whole, pure, genuine," and
faith: "firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust"
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So I would read it like this: We are to show love to others that is clean, undirtied all the way to our innermost being, (pure heart) with the active desire to do right, (good conscience) and this love should genuinely believe in God's plan (sincere faith) for them.

In my opinion, a pure heart addresses how we approach others to love them. Good conscience seems to address what keeps us balanced and continuing to extend this pure love (and not eventually warping it) and sincere faith addresses our attitude towards their future and belief in God's ultimate good plan for them.

May I learn to approach others with  a pure heart, good conscience and sincere faith.

2. We should not desire to know the law out of pride, to get respect as a "teacher of the law," but instead, to draw closer to God for ourselves... pride turns into "vain jangling, ministering questions" and not "godly edifying in faith." With that basis, I see this statement addressing the motivations, showing how the pride and control behind the desire to teach forfeits what is taught because it is done in the wrong spirit, one that goes against the whole spirit of the law: "Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor whereof they affirm." One can't teach the writings that point us away from ourselves and to the betterment of others while at the same time trying to lift up oneself with the very act of teaching.

3. Righteousness and sound doctrine do not need the law, but only because they already follow it, as far as I can understand. I see this part as saying on should use the law to address what is sin, not to, as Jesus accused the Pharisees, burden men with loads they themselves would not carry.

The balance between knowledge and love.

Lately I have been pondering Philippians 1:9:

 "And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;".

It's difficult for me to think of love within the context of knowledge and judgement, (which to me means understanding and discernment...) but it makes such balanced sense.  It's very easy to separate the intellect from the heart and create robotic, logic-only-based creatures who ignore intuition and "the weightier matters of the law" like love. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 warns of the knowledge that "puffs people up" and continues to exhort us to be humble.

 "... Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.² And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.³ But if any man love God, the same is known of him."

Conversely, the other extreme of trusting only in feelings and what we perceive is love without the balance of knowledge and judgment leads to people doing wrong things for what they think are right reasons, "casting their pearls before swine" so to speak.

Blair Adams in the book Building Christian Character writes of this balance: "... each part of our being must fulfill its highest potential of oneness in  proper God-ordained relationships with everything around us given to us by God; for we know that nature abhors a vacuum, and whatever in our lives remains unfulfilled through these divine and living patterns of oneness, then the flesh, the world or the devil will move to fill (Luke 11:23-26). If we do not find the meaning for our minds or emotions in the purpose of God, we will look for it in the world and its zeitgeist. So we cannot really hope to guard ourselves in the negative sense without also fulfilling ourselves in the positive sense." (Bold emphasis mine.)

God is balanced. He encourages moderation in all things; this one is a refreshing place for me to strive for improvement. I fear there are not enough good examples of "love abounding in knowledge and judgement."

Reconciled

This morning I was reading Colossians and I came to this passage and just had to stop and think a while: Colossians 1:21-25

^"21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled ²² In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:²³ If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister;"

I felt like this described how I felt in Guatemala. Isn't it a bit disconcerting, but perhaps necessary, that one can grow up learning about and be full of the "knowledge" of God but not really have the heart motivation or love of Him? I see this sort of the difference between training and discipline in some ways, if you are only raised with discipline and no training, you learn to fear the stimulus that is used to control you, but not really understand the motivation behind it... even if the people using it do it out of love and wanting to protect you. Whatever we don't learn keeps cycling back to us, including serving God from the heart out. God challenges our motivations and shakes our foundations until we find where we need to settle for ourselves what we accepted as true from another. In Guatemala those words say exactly how I felt towards God: alienated and an enemy in my mind. It was a peak in cynicism, which I feel is another way to say "enemy in my mind" and because of so many cultural reasons within the church there, one of the most isolated or "alienated" times.

I'm so thankful for the grace that made this next part applicable: "yet now hath he reconciled ²² In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight." I'm not holy. I'm blameable. He went through death to change that when I didn't and could never deserve it. When I die to self and live to Him, He makes me holy, unblameable, unreproveable: on my own impossible!

The last part sounds as a reminder, a warning of what to hold close: "...continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven." I find it interesting that it's the HOPE of the gospel... the very part I was so cynical about. Hope seems to be one of the first casualties of cynicism. I also appreciate the paradoxical image of faith, a purported flighty thing in society, being grounded and settled. I have been bombarded lately with the fact that God is balanced. He requires faith, something not based on logic and empirical proof, to be grounded and settled. Everything working together to bring us to a pinpointed, God-forseen, balanced place of righteousness. 

I once was lost, but now I'm found... in Him.

Memorials and Monuments

Rulers throughout history
have built proud monuments
trying to avoid being forgotten
in this physical world.

You have chosen to
build a memorial of prayers
before God; who stores every tear:
eternal.

Some plant seeds
hoping to inspire care
for the future generations
of this abused Earth.

You plant seeds of Truth
hoping to inspire future generations
to care for their easily-broken
eternal perspective.

Some hoard treasures
leaving behind fortunes
that in the end
have finite impact and benefit

You invest in souls,
storing up incorruptible
treasures in heaven;
Permanent. Infinite.

Physical and spiritual dance
together in this life.
But only one will dance forever.
You have chosen to impact forever.

Gaze

Some things 
force one's gaze down
to see even more of ourselves.
Surely that is easier than
seeing the rejection, fear and sadness
in a fellow human's eyes.

Some things
force one's gaze out
Defiance as a fist:
as if the eye could push away;
Grace as a handshake:
accepting that we can't afford,
but offering anyway.

Some things
force one's gaze up:
Worship, need, dependance, questioning:
conversations and mud fights
with God.

Sight begins inside,
accelerating from the x axis in avoidance
perpendicular to the y axis in defiance, acceptance.
You can trace the gaze back to the heart.

The fulcrum of our circumstances
with the counterweight of self, or selflessness,
determines the degree of our gaze.

Steep

Your Word, to me
like a cup of tea

the more I meditate,
and let it steep:

the more potent result,

bitter* in my belly-

changing motivations.
Sipping, savoring, becoming.

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* Rev 10:10; Matt 26:41

I was.

Like a rainbow in the desert
Your grace on an unthankful heart.
A promise in an ironic setting:
Skeptic of Your perfect balance;
Your rain of spirit on parched truth
I was.
And cracked ground
That couldn't absorb
Without a long, gentle rain that
Muddied all of my assumptions
With the incomprehensiveness of You.
But now, things can grow
And roots can find a home.

Let Your Word grow down deep
And produce fruit:
A testimony of Your grace.

Romans on Grace

As I am studying Romans chapters 5-8, the first thing I have to admit is that there's so much I don't understand about grace, and have never understood... but it's starting to make sense. These chapters explain how our body is dead through the law, (which was made to combat sin,) and how the law could not bring life, but that Jesus' death provides us with the atonement we need and the grace to have life through Christ. I felt like my spirit was drinking these passages, do you know what I mean?

This verse in particular stood out to me: Romans 8:33-34 "Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us."

Maybe it's my personality filtering what I've always heard, but I've heard so much that sounds more like condemnation from the law than exhortation to live to Christ through His grace. For some reason that really stood out to me. Yes, I have sin and the law requires death for sin, but because of Jesus' atonement I have this option: I, who was dead anyhow, can die totally to my sin, joining Christ in death, and forgo the preoccupation of society with tangible and physical pleasure and instead choose to live by the Spirit as a servant of Jesus (which is what is real anyhow, the physical is a mirage.)

Paul is complicated, and in the past that made it harder to pay attention to all of the details that keep stacking up after commas in his verses, but this time I felt like God opened my understanding to things that, while I have heard, I didn't really GRASP. There's so much about grace that I still don't understand, but a little at a time is still nice progress.

May you sense His grace on you today,

The Comfort Zone Exodus

Every time I read Exodus, I'm shocked by how the children of Israel didn't want to leave Egypt. This is exhibited in their attitudes the whole way to the promised land. It makes sense as a type, because many people do not want to leave sin because of its momentary pleasure that is even biblically supported, but I'm always surprised that they felt that way in the literal sense.

Then I think of how Egypt was all that they had ever known. The ancient people of their history who had come there were only stories. What did they have to look forward to? What proof did they have that it existed? Remembering these things, it's not so surprising that they wanted to stay. Human nature bows to the law of inertia. Even when an environment is unpleasant, it can be preferred to the less threatening psychological fear of the unknown. Fighting for a cause that demands physical and psychological sacrifice requires one to be completely committed.The children of Israel weren't. By the same thought, many times, neither am I. If something gets uncomfortable or pushes me to do something involving an emotional or spiritual risk, pride and fear combine to make a very strong noose for the challenge.

The over simplified answer of "why would the children of Israel NOT want to leave a physically, emotionally and spiritually abusive environment" becomes a lot scarier and closer to home when looked at in depth. What am I attached to in my environment that I wouldn't want to give up for God to the point that it could be spiritually crippling? Am I ready to do anything more, or am I still so spiritually immature that any thought of change makes me cling to my spiritual comfort blanket and pacifier? Why would I give up my inferior, but familiar surroundings and attitudes for some nebulous better that requires sacrifice and faith?

We were never called to be complacent place holders. We are needed to make a difference in the world. It is necessary to pray for God to give a desire to move beyond what we're comfortable with, because without commitment we will quickly run back to where we're unchallenged. I will readily admit that I am weak and pitifully human without Him. A prayer for desire is sure to get answered, so one must be ready to cling to Him instead of the brain's channels of habit that we will otherwise quickly divert to. Fear is a great controller and so is pride. But we have a higher calling crafted by one whose very nature is love, and love trumps fear every time. And the adventure is waiting.

Gentleness

Lately I've been drawn to work on the area of gentleness. This verse in particular has been standing out to me:

Ephesians 4:2 "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."
It is often easier to be objective with other people's children than with my own, it seems. Gentleness has never been a strength of mine, but Colossians 3:12-14 defines it as a necessary character trait of anyone who would be God's:
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." So if gentleness should be evident to all... that includes my own children.

It's so easy to get caught up in meeting goals I have for myself and for my household and I forget the more important intangible ones I have for our children's development of character- which is largely learned by example. Even good goals like having a clean house, timely supper and schoolwork finished, when made the primary focus of being home with my children instead of the more important role of discipling them to be like Christ through the classroom of life that includes those household chores- things are unbalanced and gentleness is left as I rush to take hold of the habitually comfortable trophy of "finished work" over a teaching moment.

Something I am learning from the Filipino culture at church is their extreme love and gentleness with their children. Sometimes this is taken to the level of not having much expected from them and lax discipline in many areas, (and I realize that balance is needed on both ends of this spectrum!) but I haven't been around this child-friendly of a culture before. It has made me think of my own expectations that I have for my children... and realize that many times I am holding them to the same unfair standards that I have for myself. Perfection isn't possible, especially when you're still learning and there are enough fair expectations that are hard enough to fulfill!. It seems to me that the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.") are all counter natural reflexes and that Godly balance is key...

God has such a compassionate way of tugging us in the right direction when He has every right to be harsh. I don't understand, but I'm grateful for the way He uses life and people around me to gently teach me when I'm willing to listen.

Lord, help me listen and learn.

carried by grace

Carried by grace
When my legs refuse to stand
 I've never felt so literally before.

It's hard to put
non-physical things
into words.

This I know:
I couldn't!
I broke horribly
and bowed at the throne for mercy

and He washed,
then lifted me.

and still: I can't...
But I go;
He carries me.

Approval.
It's as addictive as any white powder ever was, but with the extra insidiousness of being invisible.

I've seen so many people, I've experienced myself, trying to earn God's approval through people who have twisted His truth. So many times this then quickly turns into looking for new places to gain approval and rejecting the good and the bad lumped together of the purported idea of "god."

We all need approval to some degree. We seem to be wired that way. As a parent, this makes me ask myself these questions:
-Am I raising my children to need my approval or God's approval taught by me?
-Will my children be able to discern between praise for incorrect behavior by peers and Godly approval?
-Am I leading my children to seek God's will first over going with what family or society makes the comfortable choice?

With small children, especially, an intense desire to please this parent who cares for them is inherent. This is natural and good. This has powerful potential to ingrain many good qualities into the character of a child if developed the right way: Helpfulness, compassion, obedience are all qualities that can begin with just a simple desire to please. As with anything powerful, it has the ability to ingrain unbalanced desires into a child. If a child desires to please but can never accomplish enough to gain the approval of a parent, he or she often quickly turns to any other way to gain attention. If positive attention is not possible, negative attention trumps NO attention. So many student's that I taught would need attention from me first thing in the morning, or the whole day would go crazy until they got it. It is astounding the amount of difference a small conversation, a hug or just a high 5 could change the course of a day, and that is only within the limited time of a class room. A parent has exponential influence! So many actions compound and grow and feed off of each other. How do we create balanced, loving environments that lead children to our God and get them to seek His approval over even our own?

I think it begins with a relationship and example of Godly obedience. If a relationship is not developed with a child, then imposing rules will not bring them into obedience unless God touches their hearts. He has given parents the job of making disciples of children, leading children to Him. Our relationships with our children, hopefully, are based on building Godly character, showing love by example and allowing them to see the shaping hand of God in our lives. Eventually, the trust the child places in his or her parents and earning of approval from them has to be transferred to God. This doesn't mean a child doesn't still love, respect and learn from his or her parents, but their approval, the one who leads them into the next part of their lives, is from God.

How do you train a child to obey and then to transfer that obedience to Christ?

I am continually learning how to parent. There are so many answers I don't have, but here is what I believe is important: Parenting transparently, not with the illusion of perfection.
It is only Christ in me that allows me to do good, His life breathing through dead, sinful bones. Often, I don't die to sin and I fight against His spirit and make mistakes as a parent. I then have to ask for forgiveness from my children and take them with me, back to the cross. Leading by example of humility, brokenness and total dependance on God is more likely to create an authentic God-child relationship than any act of being a perfect parent ever could.

My prayer is this: that God will help me to parent in a balanced, Godly way; that I will not make even my own approval of higher importance than the approval of God and that I will be able to humbly lead by example and total dependence on Jesus Christ.

It is becoming clearer to me every day why the bible advocates constant godly dialog between kids and parents. There are so many teaching moments, for me AND them, that need to be shared. I do not easily do dialog, so this is something I am trying to improve. It's hard to not view talking as a chore, but as a necessary form of teaching for life. As a teacher I could separate my life into "teaching" and "home stuff," but with children it is ALL teaching. I get overwhelmed so easily, especially when I feel like I have to multitask. For me, it comes down to this: Mothering is all about pacing yourself and doing one thing well at a time- not getting wrapped up in things more than the family and God you serve.

I continue learning about fear. I feel this is the lesson I have been learning the longest, but which I've only recently been able to apply to life. Leaving the middle east for vacation I realized some things that should be very simple, but that I wasn't realizing:
-You can not run from fear because you carry it inside of you. It isn't dependent upon external factors, but internal ones.
-This makes it simple: Fear doesn't come from God, and if I have it as His child, it is a choice I am making.
-If it is a choice, the fear of the future is inhibiting the enjoyment of the present because I am letting it.
Which made it much clearer to make a different choice. Clearer, but not always easier. Worrying about something isn't going to do anything but make life miserable and inhibit clear thought if something bad does happen. Instead, I could acknowledge that God has a reason for everything, even bad things, and not worry about it but accept that He will help if something does happen.

But the last two points are then tied together in this question I have been trying to figure out: How do you raise children to be motivated by love instead of fear? I know there is healthy fear in order to survive and the "fear of God" but those are not what I'm talking about. One can choose to be motivated by love instead of fear, but that doesn't change reflexes. If a child is trained up in fear, how does he depart from that? If fear is the result of not being made perfect in love, how is that process begun, and more importantly, passed on?

I live with a strong suspicion
that everything I do is wrong
but that I can do it wrong
better than anyone else.

I live with the strong suspicion
that I can't interact well with others
because I'm missing some integral link,
but my words can somehow make a difference.

I live with the strong suspicion that
Suspicions are based on
Fear, Lies and Selfishness;
and it's not really about me.

When I choose to replace suspicion with faith
I have instead, assurance:
He will use all things for
my good: His glory.

Psalm 27:8

I have sought your hand, Lord,
for provision and steadying.

I have thrown myself at your feet
for forgiveness and mercy.

I have sought your sword,
pleaded for you to take your vengeance.

I have sought the shadow of your wings,
your cleft in the rock to hide me...

And in so doing I forgot the obvious.

You softly said:
"Seek ye my face."

And my heart swelled with purpose,
I remembered your divine plan for relationship

And I ran to say:
"Thy face, Lord, will I seek."

Balance

Like painting a happy picture
In somber colors

Worship without joy
Giving without heart

The act separated
From it's true spirit

Duty instead of
Love motivation

You divide the thoughts
Intents, internal drive

You establish balance.
Righteousness.

Como la Mosca

Como un niño persiguiendo
a una mosca
es el hombre intentando capturar
el sueño de éste mundo natural.

Como la mosca,
éste sueño se mueve, vuela
y si acaso se captura...
¿qué tendrás de verdad?

Una mosca en toda su gloria.
Bravo.

Psalm of Extravagance

Like rich dessert
After a good meal.
Thou preparest a table for me.

Like a sprinkler turned on
While it's raining.
My cup overflows.

Your blessings towards me
More than sufficiency.
Unnecessarily extravagant.

It is not deserved,
Much given; much to give.
I shall not want.

I will remember
When days are lean.
Life turns full circle.

I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Lessons

Lessons in community,
The body of Christ

Learning to let love replace fear.

It's focus:
Letting Him work through me,
The pressure all on shoulders
more than big enough to handle it
and not
Struggling to be perfect by myself.

Isolation vs. Community
Fear vs. Love
my weakness vs. His Strength
Conformation vs. Transformation
Physical vs. Eternal-

He trades it through chastening,
Orchestrating life to knead out the
worry,
and the bitterness,
and the anger...

Learning to fight instinct:
The gravity of self
That pulls us from the worship
That our spirit was created for.

It's not expecting to understand
What my mind can not hold, just:

decrease self
so that He can increase.