Safety and Surrender

Safety and surrender

Swirl in my head

Like the leaves the wind twirls in front of me.

Why is it hard to raise hands of surrender when I don't feel safe?

Because I don't feel in control?

The wind moves where it wants.

The trees release leaves in God's patterns.

What do I actually control?

It's an illusion.

Our control is non-existent; 

safety just consistent, sustaining Grace, purposefully provided.

Rather,

We are surrounded by a loving God's goodness so much,

We feel like our own power manifested 

the good things we desired,

But He knows the desires of our hearts.

Swirling stills

Truth stares me in the face:

The only control I actually have

Is to choose surrender,

Or to believe the lie that I have control to begin with.

The one gift I can offer

Is my whole self.

Muddy Miracle

I was parched,

A cracking desert

Before your love rained on me-

And honestly,

The first drops made a mess

As self-will and sin and Grace

Merged in a muddy miracle...

But You didn't stop

And I didn't stop wanting Your presence,

And mud puddles

Eventually became a spring of living water,

Hope filling every crack

And the fullness

Forcing my gaze outward

To other dry lands;

Your blessings dripping out of my hands

And filling parched places

Who choose You.

My heart is full

And thankful.